Kindred Spirits

St. Petersburg, FL. "What do you mean when you say community?"

That was the question that SHIFT's Jan Hively, The Transition Network's Betsy Werley and I asked at a workshop we conducted at the Positive Aging Conference at Eckerd College earlier this month.
 

It was supposed to be the opening query for a conversation about being part of community as you transition to the next phase of your life-- next phase being anything from looking for a job, pursuing an encore career or retiring in the traditional sense of the word.

The answer to that question turned out to take fairly much the whole 75 minute workshop.

There were twenty-three people in the room. There were twenty-three different answers.

Different Communities for Different Folks

"I want to explore community as the way to deepen my sense of spirituality," one participant offered. "I want to go deeper into virtual community," another suggested.

"I want people who will be there for me-- a community of caring and compassion." "I want closer connections with my family." "I want a community of people who want to share new interests."

"More connection with my neighbors." "A community where men feel as connected as women." "More real and meaningful connections with people of all generations."

You could feel the buzz in the room as people shared, not just their overarching ideas about community but also their visions of what that community would look and feel like.

What the activities would be and how people would grow together.

I'm such an age positivist. A speech that I frequently give is entitled "Old is Good." And this discussion only reinforced that idea for me. "Grow old with me! The best is yet to be,"   Robert Browning wrote. I think he was right.

A Primer in Growing Older Together

Indeed, this group seemed to be putting meat on those bones-- offering an array of ways to grow older collectively and be enriched by that experience.

We ended on a somewhat academic note-- but one vividly borne out by our discussion.

It was a review of the meaning of "social support" from "Tapping the Power of Social Networks," one of a series of reports on social networks from The Annie E. Casey Foundation.

It talked about how social support came in many flavors:

Informational. So much of our conversation had been about learning and growing from the wisdom in the room-- a recognition that a community is rich with people who literally know things and share them.

Affiliative. How important it is to have companions and a heightened sense that we are very much all in this together as we grow older.

Emotional. Many of the participants had talked about how sharing feelings with each other created a sense of being bonded, was empowering, and contributed to their sense of self worth. And finally...

Spiritual. This seemed ultimately to be what it was all about. The power, meaning, and sense that one of the key reasons that life is worth living is that it is something that is enriching when we take our journey... in the company of kindred spirits.